by phil on Tuesday Apr 1, 2003 11:38 PM
In an amazing turn of events--or not so amazing to those watching carefully--I have blogged like crazy again today. The first post of today, on "shock" art, I never intended to post here when I wrote it, so that was kind of an after thought. Plus, it was later in the day too, so I had the whole morning, noon, and early afternoon, to not blog. Weird huh? Yeah, I over-blogged yesterday, Monday. Sunday was also over-bloggage. I had been checking around to different blogs and exploring all the software that has exploded onto the scene in the last year, and I was so amazed at how much has happened while I was locked in school. And I was never really locked, they had Internet access, but oh yes, even at Stanford, with it's free-floating shopping period and attend-whenever-you-like attitude, you can still be locked...more to follow. Also, there was the spoken word thing in the evening which turned out to be lopsided. Lopsided in the sense that the gravity of the event was not in my delivery but in my nervous anticipation earlier in the day (combined with the over-bloggage). Needless to say, I was pooped when I woke up this morning, and my body ejected whatever desire I had to blog. Plus, I stopped attempting to get my site noticed, I removed the link from my away message, and since it's the first day of a new month, my hit counter showed a big fat 0 for once. Yeah, scary. So the day went around semi-blithely.
That is, until, I actual got some fan mail. Woohoo! Actually, for like the 20 seconds I took reading the e-mail and for a good 2 seconds afterwards, I was in bliss. But immediately afterwards, and for like a good hour, I was frustrated. Why? Because I knew this would motivate me and consume me to continue blogging. I tried to hold onto the doldrums of my current day. I prayed that the impending tide of enthusiasm for spitting philosophisms would somehow magically go away. I suffered, and then I said, what the hell, why am I being an ascetic, try running up face with your temptation, your addiction, your passion. I did, I blogged, and now I'm here.
And this all relates to my earlier post, on a true test for a passion.