Ladder Theory Page that basically
Page that basically states that in mating, we seek the "best we can get" where best is defined for women as money and power, and for men, looks and willingness to put out. So theoretically, a women would marry the richest, most influential man out there that they could get for their package. Men would marry the hottest, sexually astute, women that they could get.
Okay, well, part of me wants to not believe this. But I think in the end it's true. Here are my initial counter arguments, followed by my own self-re-buffs:
1) Standard deviations and outliers abound -- yes, this is valid and there is not a great rebuff for this. One though, is that, it's difficult to resist social pressures around certain values. Your woman or man may initially be thinking about things like humor and great personality, but as time goes on, their thinking is subject to molding by peers and the media which shows people who are better off.
2) My observations show most relationships revolving around personality and friendship -- as it would seem on the surface. But when heated arguments and disagreements test the relationship, one or two sides need to compromise, and the choices made there determines whether someone finds it worth changing their personality in order to keep their prize. Another thing, people don't walk around with a single set personality, but change their personality from person to person, and probably depending on that ladder thing.
Now, I've been down this argument-path before. Yes, as is the case with anything involving sociology or psychology, generalizations come with the territory. So, it's not completetly true, but it can't be completly false. You only have to look around to see cases on both sides.