I counted every amazon link on every single question and answer page (5,427 pages) from the human relations category of Ask.MetaFilter. This spans more than five years worth of advice.
Personally, I trust this list to be the best books on the topic. That's because I believe in the power of hive minds, and I believe that MetaFilter is one of the best hive minds out there. I don't know why MetaFilter is so good. Perhaps it's because it costs $5 to join the community, or that it has a slight bias for librarians. All I know is that some book recommendations on there have changed my life.
And now I have a lot more reading to do.
- ![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0380810336.01.jpg) | Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated by David D. Burns | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/1881273156.01.jpg) | The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0440508835.01.jpg) | The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0671027034.01.jpg) | How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0452281326.01.jpg) | The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/014028852X.01.jpg) | Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0060959622.01.jpg) | You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/1400078393.01.jpg) | Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E. P. Seligman | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/141690977X.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0393334279.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch PhD | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0761123695.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0894864025.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/1572244135.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, Fourth Edition by Edmund J. Bourne | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/1890159018.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0380811960.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0609805797.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman, Nan Silver | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0553380397.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Don't Shoot the Dog!: The New Art of Teaching and Training by Karen Pryor | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0805087001.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition by Harville Hendrix | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/007141858X.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/157224108X.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/1585421464.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition] by Julia Cameron | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/006074104X.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/1590302265.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0451148452.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Intimate Connections by David D. Burns | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0060881909.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Toni Weschler | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/055380491X.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition; Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0142000280.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0809132230.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | How to Be an Adult: A Handbook for Psychological and Spiritual Integration by David Richo | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/006124189X.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials) by Robert B. Cialdini | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0807014273.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0898621283.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by Dennis Greenberger, Christine Padesky | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0393058743.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated by Judith Martin, Gloria Kamen | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0762415339.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | No More Mr. Nice Guy! by Robert A. Glover | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/1569245134.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto by Anneli Rufus | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0060554738.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/1577314808.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0446691437.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0553381407.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward, Craig Buck | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0425191656.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/P/0684802414.01.THUMBZZZ.jpg) | Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last by John Gottman | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| A Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis, Robert A. Harper, Melvin Powers | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships by Ashley Stanford | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Divorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again by Michele Weiner-Davis | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition (Thumb Indexed) by Peggy Post | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William L. Ury, Bruce Patton | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Guide to Getting It On, 5th Edition by Paul Joannides | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships by Steven Carter, Julia Sokol | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| If... (Questions For The Game of Life) by Evelyn McFarlane, James Saywell | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts by Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers by Lois P. Frankel | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types by David Keirsey, Marilyn Bates | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher, Ruth Ross | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden, Hal Iggulden | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara Pease, Allan Pease | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition by Alice Miller | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play by Neil Fiore | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven Techniques for Overcoming Your Fears by Martin M. Antony, Richard P. Swinson | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Herman | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| What To Do When Someone You Love Is Depressed : A Practical, Compassionate, and Helpful Guide by Mitch Golant Ph.D., Susan K. Golant | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time by Michael Shermer, Stephen Jay Gould | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |
| Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier | ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) ![](up.gif) |