Activities For the Idle
by phil on Wednesday Apr 16, 2003 8:50 PM
Write reviews about the randomness things. Like write about wood or something. "Wood: 4 out of 5 Stars. When I first discovered wood, it was brown and quiet. It served a great utilitarian function, but at the same time, caused some anguish due to delivering splinters. Nontheless, it's natural browness invokes a sense of sublime and makes you feel at home with nature. On the whole, wood is good"
Just like you can stick "banality of" before any concept and you're an instant sophist critic, you can write a review of random crap and become an instant sophist comedian. Funny things to write a review about:
- an individual conversation
- a person
- people in general, like humanity
- an individual second in time
- the length of your finger nails
- the distribution of people in a subway
- the quality of the negative space surrounding a painting
Example, "Current length of finger nails (5 out of 5 stars): Balance is everything. On one extreme, there's the just cut look of finger nails where the edges are still rough and skin from the tips of your finger fold weird over them. On the other extreme, they're so long that you look gaudy. Somewhere you reach a balance of length where you still can't inadvertently scratch your back while putting on lotion and yet you can still drum some sounds with your nails on the wood (see prev. review). Such a balance is what I have now, and I am much benefited by its inherent features. It's temporality is one of its deficeits, but the element of balance is the natural result of temporality, and hence, we accept this fault and keep the current length of finger nails one star above four."
Yes, I am idle?... ?!