July 16th, 2001
(self deprecation at it's finest)...
Too high expectation for current position of power (i.e. don't want to get hands dirty), i.e. I want to be there right now, and so I automatically throw myself into that position.
"BUT THAT'S TOO WEAK, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO MANAGE A BIGGER ORGANIZATION ETC.. I NEED TO HAVE PEOPLE WORKING UNDER ME, TO BUILD IT, I NEED TO BE CEO"
"BUT I CANNOT. I AM GOING TO SCHOOL, I DON'T HAVE MONEY, I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT EXPERIECNE!"
BUT IF I DON'T SEARCH FOR HIGH POWER, THEN OTHER PEOPLE WILL BULL-DOZER OVER ME. I.E. IF I DO THIS THING, THEN SOMEBODY WILL BECOME MY BOSS, THIS IS TOO WEAK TO BE JUST A PROGRAMMER IN THE COG IN THE MACHINE.