What is Emotional Intelligence

by phil on Monday Jul 14, 2003 11:41 PM
emotional intelligence

Yeah, so I read that book Emotional Intelligence, or at least got the jist of it. What the author was emphasizing that basically a lot of ppl have emotional intelligence, and usually it's along the line of being aware of your emotions and possibly being able to give names to them like, "okay, I'm getting upset now because of x" thereby allowing you to control...

the author never gives methods of controlling because, perhaps he doesn't have emotional intelligence. like wise, those that do have control are rarely unaware of whereabout they achieved control, they either had control most of their life or didn't. Unless they had some shocking event or down turn that caused them to "change their ways" permanently... in other words those ppl maybe experienced some great trauma that instilled a great sense of "fear" in them in which case, they perpetuated that fear for a while (or rather it was hard not too) and that caused them to have more awareness and control... however, did they choose that fear inducing event? Can you induce it, should you?

Anyways, I'm dissecting this "issue" more and more, and I think the prime difference between the emotionally intelligent (there I go, using the word "prime" and such again) is a difference between being "in" the system and being "out" of the system.

If you're on the inside of the system, then the system affects you. Somebody curses at you, and you get upset, your fists clench, a justification pops into your head, and then maybe you punch them, or just cool off steam. You're unaware of the process, you're just mad, and you want to get that guy, you don't care about it, that's how you feel, then that's how you're gonna act.

being "out" of the system means that you see this process, you watch it happen with a sort of detached air. Like, "oh, heh, look, it's Phil, and he's getting chided, look, that's going to then trigger his defenses and automatically make him pump up with anger, and then subsequently that anger is then gonna make him clench his fists etc.."

The author of "Emotional Intelligence" described it as a sort of "hovering wrath" lingering above you that was aware of what was going on but unaffected by what was going on..

anyways, what's interesting is that once you're "out" of the system, it's hard to go back in. It's hard to submerge yourself underwater once you've had a taste of fresh air. You can let yourself slip in, but never willfully because then you'll just see yourself from the out trying to get in. But now, time can erode your sense of going back in... you could even just go, whoops, I'm gonna let myself back under the gun... now even though you're aware of going under the gun, you initiate a process that could then lead to you forgetting that you made your choice, and then you would be once again, under the gun, or in the system.

now, this is why "know thyself" is a good maxim from the Oracle in the matrix and @ the real oracle because knowing yourself is the key to becoming aware of the system, becoming outside of the system, and thereby getting control. What is the matrix? Control. What are you doing? attempting to control... or respond, in some way...

Now, what happens when teenagers or mid-life-crisisers "find themselves" I think they're doing precisely that... instead of being in the system, a sort of coin in the sea of worldly pressures, they stop for a second and realize that they are this coin and that there is this sea, and embrace it, and then subsequently control it with themselves in mind.

This growth has been described as "surging up in the world" by Sartre... and it's a sort of recognition of the solipsistic aspects of your life and coupled with your desire to take care of yourself, and then subsequently your desire to control your destiny... which requires some element of being a controller from the outside, controlling something that's in.

So... wake UP! (and smell yourself?)

>> yes, I'm starting to agree more and more that this is indeed jerry springer for intellectualism... INTERESTING NOTHELESS I HOPE... my good chum.