Major Baring of the Psychological Soul
by phil on Tuesday Sep 16, 2003 11:05 PM
Me Me Me, too much information
Philosophistry is an experiment in self-honesty... the publicity of vanity, etc.. Well, here it is, the iskra.... below are my scores on a psychological self-test.
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
There are solutions to all of these. Hell, you can tell by my self-analysis over time that I try really hard to overcome these "disorders" with a caucophony of shenanigans, such as "Emotional Intelligence" or existentialism stuff.
But, a few comments...
Why the disorder? An institution defined what is orderly and disorderly, but everybody's got their flaws and they live with them. Isn't part of the trick of life learning to live within your flaws rather than trying to change them?
Hell, I'm acutely aware that half of my problems would be reduced if I didn't try so hard to fix them. The process of mental washing in order to "cure" myself confounds my problems, makes me more conscious about them, and inadvertently inflates them while stressing me out.
Also, hell, a lot of these tests are designed for the "average Joe." Like a couple questions were do you find yourself frustrated with the inadequacies of others.
The thing is though, in a lot of cases I have cause to be. When I see how inefficiently things are run by ignorant people, it really pisses me off because I see them. When I point it out to other people, they agree and subsequently get pissed off as well. I also took a "FlakeFilter" test to determine whether I was a flake or not with regard to work, and it turned out that I was the most diligent, most painfully aware of punctuality, the returning of phone calls, attention to detail, and desire to meet objectives... I then proceeded to grade some ppl I've worked with in the past and they scored very low... no wonder I was frustrated with them... it wasn't that I was just being arrogant... I had instead done a poor job with hiring. Putting down others and raising yourself up is sooo disgusting to society that I feel embarassed or somehow "wrong" saying things than that. But face it folks, we're not all equal, and many of us are better than others, and many can see that as well, we all have eyes. It's just another damn meme. (I agree though, I don't want to make others feel bad, but I shouldn't feel guilty for seeing where I do excel beyond others, nor should it be wrong to say so publicly so long as I don't inveigh a person-in-particular)
Nonetheless, I don't want to excuse these "disorders" since much of survey points to real flaws. I guess, well, I guess you can see by the long, emotionally desparate discussion that in some ways, I'm compensating or embarrassed by my scores, and trying to justify or give them a positive beat to them--Which I shouldn't be, were I to try to not fix them.
(Hah, hell, I shouldn't even be blogging if I wanted to end narccicism)
Oh well, so it blogs...