A Fire Inside (not the band)

by phil on Saturday Oct 18, 2003 4:15 PM

That previous post has brought me back to that first time I quit school in a rush. I think the emotional snowball came for me when I saw Adaptation. That movie made me think, "what the hell am I wasting my time for, I should be out burning the wax off the candle in my soul. I should be cutting that rapture of pursuing what you love, everyday.

It was such a motivational force, and it ripped apart through my bones, and in a few days, I decided to drop everything.. I moved out of school starting January 1st of this year, and then I threw myself into my minivan and headed into the desert.

Looking back now, that was one of the most invigorating experiences of my life. Everytime I listen to the tracks I kept with me on my trip to the desert, it brings me back to that island of a moment.

It's like if your life is taking one pace for so long, and then you change it so much that your life forks out into a separate life that is closed off from the rest. Then you can reflect back and see a discontinuous sequence.

blah, I don't know what I'm saying. all I wanted to say primarily was that I have the shivers after the previous post. Everytime I come across a method of thinking that involves some sense of paradigm shifting or re-approaching everything that I have become so used to thinking about, I start to shiver.

I think it's nervousness, maybe it's fear, or it's just some other natural response to change.

Either way, it's hard to type on this zero-force touchstream keyboard that has no buttons, because you have to hover your hands above the keyboard, and since I have shaky hands, it's difficult to type.