The Pretender's Recant

by phil on Wednesday Dec 8, 2004 2:10 PM

I've been lately finding myself in positions of massive anxiety because I'm afraid of being percieved by society as this or that. I fear being considered a "failure" a "flake." I have this allergy to falling into any of the various cliches.

So anyways.

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The person who spends his time controlling his image will eventually lose control over his substance.

I will not pretend to be smart
I will not pretend to be an artist
I will not pretend to have all the answers
I will not pretend to be social
I will not pretend that I'm a winner
I will not pretend to be reliable
I will not pretend to be compassionate
I will not pretend to be charitable, benevolent, magnanimous
I will not pretend to be moral
I will not pretend to be nice
I will not pretend to be a leader
I will not pretend that I'm secure
I will not pretend to be emotionally stable
I will not pretend to be macho, masculine, tough
I will not pretend to be strong
I will not pretend that I'm not a flake
I will not pretend to be interesting, creative
I will not pretend to have my act together
I will not pretend to be confident, courageous, brave
I will not pretend to be without a silver spoon in my mouth

I will be myself to my fullest, and let society mark me however it wants. Society can only measure, but it can't change my core. If I focus all my energy on cultivating myself internally, rather than managing how I'm percieved externally, then good things will happen.

The person who spends his time controlling his image will eventually lose control over his substance.

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